Dathomir [Saturday afternoon, Fandom time]

[momslilassassin]

The trip to Dathomir had gone quietly. The planet had fit Ben's criteria: off the beaten path but still livable (so no Hoths, thanks), temperate, and largely unexplored.

He hefted the backpack he was carrying into a more comfortable position on his back, and glanced over at Ender before beginning to walk through the forest in front of them, leaving the shuttle parked behind. "This is the planet my uncle won in a card game decades ago," he said. "Singing Mountain is a few klicks that way."

Well, Ben's definition of "a few" was closer to fifteen. "Is this what you had in mind?"

[OOC: For the bff. NFB due to distance.]

Comments

[endsthegame]

"I put out a feeler a few months ago," Ender said, conversationally, "That was their response. What I've got left is to spend time on what's really bothering me."

[momslilassassin]

"Which is what?" Ben asked.

[endsthegame]

Ender smiled faintly. It wasn't particularly happy, but it wasn't sad, either. Just something in the space in between. "This problem I have to solve," he just said. "Who these people were."

[momslilassassin]

Ben shifted a little closer, rancors out of his mind for the moment. "And what will you do with the information once you know?" he asked. "I can't imagine the people at home spend a lot of time remembering the buggers."

[endsthegame]

"I wrote my first draft a while ago," he said, "You might remember it, but you went to war right after."

He nodded at the closed-off entryway. "I spent my entire life learning to understand them, to love them. You don't-- you can't just switch that off."

[momslilassassin]

Ben nodded. "I remember. That's why I'm a little," terrified, "concerned that you're still looking into them. It seemed comprehensive then."

He nudged his shoulder into Ender's. "You have to learn how to turn it off," he said softly, "or it'll eat you alive."

[endsthegame]

Ender shot him a little look, sideways and all. "Thanks, Doctor."

He was being a brat, he knew, but it was-- difficult.

[momslilassassin]

Ben ignored the brattiness, knowing what it was covering. "You know I'm right," he said instead.

[endsthegame]

"You have a hell of an ego," he said, without judgement.

[momslilassassin]

"Comes with the family," Ben replied. "You wouldn't let me wallow when I wanted to. I'm returning the favor."

[endsthegame]

"Again," he said, "You're implying I'm wallowing in something." A pause. "I care about you, too, mind."

Now, Ender, that was just pain unfair.

[momslilassassin]

Ben's slight frown agreed with the unfair. "What would you call the obsessive researching, then?"

[endsthegame]

"Researching," he said, without taking a moment to think about it. "You do that about home, don't you? Especially considering what's going on."

[momslilassassin]

"Yes," Ben said slowly, "but it's an active threat. The buggers aren't any more. What are you going to learn from Fiona's entomology books?"

[endsthegame]

"Probably not much in terms of xenobiology," he admitted, freely, "But every little bit helps." A pause. "Besides, she seems attached to them."

Not that Ender was trying to change the subject again, or anything.

[momslilassassin]

"You're trying to change the subject," Ben noted. "I don't care about Fiona. You already understand how the buggers think, how they reacted, and how they died. How can learning more about them help you at all?"

[endsthegame]

The hive queen in Special Collections. He considered, as he had before, the idea of telling Ben about that. "Are you telling me you haven't been trying to figure out Jacen?" is what came out.

[momslilassassin]

Busted. "It's only been a few months," he said defensively.

[endsthegame]

"So why not stop?" Ender asked. "He's dead. You know what he did and most of how he did it."

[momslilassassin]

"Because he was family and I loved him," Ben said. "And I don't want to end up the same way. What's your excuse?"

[endsthegame]

"Because I cared about the Formics," he said, simply. "And now they're dead. It is fairly simple, considering."

[momslilassassin]

"There is nothing simple about any of this," Ben countered. "It's all tied into guilt and regret and trying to figure out when we missed something important."

[endsthegame]

"I'm not wondering about when I missed anything," Ender retorted, "As you recall, I was there. You're the one who spent half of it on the sidelines."

[momslilassassin]

"So you're just fine with being manipulated into exterminating an entire race?" Ben replied, arching up an eyebrow. "You don't spend any time wondering if you should have realized earlier that it wasn't really an exercise."

[endsthegame]

"I hate that it happened," Ender said, leaning back against the rock wall, "I'm angry that it happened to me, but I understand it."