The Portal on Shakespeare [a week later]

[momslilassassin]

A mattress had been bought for guests, the house had been scrubbed from top to bottom and then bottom to top, and Ben, even though he knew that Luke wouldn't care in the slightest, had stressed out about what they'd have for dinner for the last three days.

Now he was a half-hour early for the time his father had sent him for the portal, bouncing nervously on the balls of his feet.

He was excited and terrified in almost equal measure.

Sounds like a fun vacation, huh?

Comments

[notsoreckless.livejournal.com]

Luke smiled a little wryly. "That he does. He has a gift for loyalty."

Which was why his display in the Council room had come as such a shock to Luke: Ben had a very difficult time letting go of anything.

"You choice of wording just surprised me," he explained. "I was wondering if you and Ben had made this official in a way he hadn't mentioned to me yet."

[endsthegame]

"No, we haven't," Ender said matter-of-factly. "I don't think we really need to. It's official enough."

[notsoreckless.livejournal.com]

"I didn't know Ben would make his choice so early," Luke said quietly, "but I think he's made a good one."

[endsthegame]

Ender smiled.

He didn't want to make Luke worry unnecessarily by dumping his own personal worries about how long it would last on him.

"Thanks," he said, "That means a lot."

[notsoreckless.livejournal.com]

Luke's eyes scanned Ender's face. "Something troubling you?"

[endsthegame]

"A lot of things do. I'm a governor, after all, and once I was an admiral," Ender said lightly. "Either way, it's nothing you should worry about."

[notsoreckless.livejournal.com]

"Does that work when you try it on Ben either?" Luke asked a little wryly.

[endsthegame]

"You're not your son," Ender said. "Which means I don't owe you disclosure, and in return, you don't have to be burdened with every thought that passes my mind."

[notsoreckless.livejournal.com]

"Somehow I don't think you burden Ben with every thought that passes your mind either," Luke replied. "You've always struck me as very insular for someone who wasn't trained specifically in closing people out of your mind."

[endsthegame]

"I am what my teachers made me," Ender said. "You don't have to be a Jedi to sweep away a child at a young age and train them for war."

[notsoreckless.livejournal.com]

"But the war's over now," Luke pointed out.

[endsthegame]

"Do soldiers magically return to their civilian selves when the war is over?"

[notsoreckless.livejournal.com]

"It depends how long they were soldiers," Luke said. "Some re-adapt easier than others. Some end up fighting the same war for decades."

[endsthegame]

"It's rougher when you're young," Ender said.

[notsoreckless.livejournal.com]

Luke nodded. "I wasn't military very long--only a few years--and the Jedi mindset is slightly different than a military one."

[endsthegame]

"Imagine being five or six years old," Ender said, leaning back against the counter. "Waging war on other five or six year olds every day. It's not play-- your very honor and the future of your people hinge on this, or at least that's how it feels. Imagine being confused at the thought of anyone asking you what you wanted to be when you grew up."

[notsoreckless.livejournal.com]

"In that, you and Ben weren't so very different," Luke said quietly, "though he started his training very late by old Jedi standards."

[endsthegame]

"I know," Ender said, "But he felt responsibility very keenly even before it."

[notsoreckless.livejournal.com]

"He wanted to be his Uncle Han before his training," Luke said a little wryly. "I think he'd still rather be his Uncle Han."

[endsthegame]

Ender's mouth curved. "I think so too," he said. "Too bad he's too much of a doofus to manage it."

[notsoreckless.livejournal.com]

"Yes," Luke deadpanned. "The doofus is strong in us."

[endsthegame]

"You said it, not me," Ender said, but he looked Very Very Amused.

[notsoreckless.livejournal.com]

Luke smiled. "It's easy to admit to when you already know the truth."

[endsthegame]

"For what it's worth," Ender said, "I like the Skywalker brand of doofus."

[notsoreckless.livejournal.com]

Luke smiled. "I'm glad because Ben has a lot of it."