Dathomir [Saturday afternoon, Fandom time]

[momslilassassin]

The trip to Dathomir had gone quietly. The planet had fit Ben's criteria: off the beaten path but still livable (so no Hoths, thanks), temperate, and largely unexplored.

He hefted the backpack he was carrying into a more comfortable position on his back, and glanced over at Ender before beginning to walk through the forest in front of them, leaving the shuttle parked behind. "This is the planet my uncle won in a card game decades ago," he said. "Singing Mountain is a few klicks that way."

Well, Ben's definition of "a few" was closer to fifteen. "Is this what you had in mind?"

[OOC: For the bff. NFB due to distance.]

Comments

[endsthegame]

"And here I thought I'd been in high school," Ender said, tilting his head. He bit down on his protein bar again.

[momslilassassin]

Ben's eyes were flat. "We're a thousand lightyears from anyone who knows either of us. We're here because you wanted the break. Are you going to tell me why or are you going to keep doing this deflection poodoo until we're both old?"

[endsthegame]

"That's insinuating I'm deflecting anything."

Sigh, Ender.

"I don't deflect anything. I don't have anything to deflect. Anything I might want to hide is accessible for anyone who talks to back home." A beat. "My life does not belong to me, anyway."

He sounded awfully okay about that.

[momslilassassin]

Ben sighed. "Who does your life belong to, then?"

[endsthegame]

"Anyone and everything. The people back home," he said, mildly. "It's Val who made sure I could never return to Earth, but she's hardly the only cog in the machine."

He shrugged. "The point is that what I've got is in here," and Ender pointed at his head, "And about three years of classes far below my level. If I'm lucky."

[momslilassassin]

Ben's heart lurched a little painfully. It was no gift to be empathic. He stretched out a leg to prod his foot against Ender's since they didn't really do hugs.

"So Val's at school to make sure you stay put, then?"

[endsthegame]

"I put out a feeler a few months ago," Ender said, conversationally, "That was their response. What I've got left is to spend time on what's really bothering me."

[momslilassassin]

"Which is what?" Ben asked.

[endsthegame]

Ender smiled faintly. It wasn't particularly happy, but it wasn't sad, either. Just something in the space in between. "This problem I have to solve," he just said. "Who these people were."

[momslilassassin]

Ben shifted a little closer, rancors out of his mind for the moment. "And what will you do with the information once you know?" he asked. "I can't imagine the people at home spend a lot of time remembering the buggers."

[endsthegame]

"I wrote my first draft a while ago," he said, "You might remember it, but you went to war right after."

He nodded at the closed-off entryway. "I spent my entire life learning to understand them, to love them. You don't-- you can't just switch that off."

[momslilassassin]

Ben nodded. "I remember. That's why I'm a little," terrified, "concerned that you're still looking into them. It seemed comprehensive then."

He nudged his shoulder into Ender's. "You have to learn how to turn it off," he said softly, "or it'll eat you alive."

[endsthegame]

Ender shot him a little look, sideways and all. "Thanks, Doctor."

He was being a brat, he knew, but it was-- difficult.

[momslilassassin]

Ben ignored the brattiness, knowing what it was covering. "You know I'm right," he said instead.

[endsthegame]

"You have a hell of an ego," he said, without judgement.

[momslilassassin]

"Comes with the family," Ben replied. "You wouldn't let me wallow when I wanted to. I'm returning the favor."

[endsthegame]

"Again," he said, "You're implying I'm wallowing in something." A pause. "I care about you, too, mind."

Now, Ender, that was just pain unfair.

[momslilassassin]

Ben's slight frown agreed with the unfair. "What would you call the obsessive researching, then?"

[endsthegame]

"Researching," he said, without taking a moment to think about it. "You do that about home, don't you? Especially considering what's going on."

[momslilassassin]

"Yes," Ben said slowly, "but it's an active threat. The buggers aren't any more. What are you going to learn from Fiona's entomology books?"

[endsthegame]

"Probably not much in terms of xenobiology," he admitted, freely, "But every little bit helps." A pause. "Besides, she seems attached to them."

Not that Ender was trying to change the subject again, or anything.

[momslilassassin]

"You're trying to change the subject," Ben noted. "I don't care about Fiona. You already understand how the buggers think, how they reacted, and how they died. How can learning more about them help you at all?"

[endsthegame]

The hive queen in Special Collections. He considered, as he had before, the idea of telling Ben about that. "Are you telling me you haven't been trying to figure out Jacen?" is what came out.

[momslilassassin]

Busted. "It's only been a few months," he said defensively.

[endsthegame]

"So why not stop?" Ender asked. "He's dead. You know what he did and most of how he did it."