Aboard the Jade Shadow [Tuesday, Fandom time]

[momslilassassin]

Ben was grabbing a quick snack as he waited in the galley for his father to finish docking the ship on the first human-majority planet they'd seen in months and taking the chance to catch up on more reading about the Aing-Tii Monks. As soon as they restocked their supplies and checked for physical mail (Ben hoped that Tony's package would catch up with them here), they'd be heading into Aing-Tii space, which was a challenging enough flight that Luke Kriffing Skywalker looked slightly apprehensive about it.

Ben stopped being nervous by remembering that if Jacen had been able to do it, Luke would be able to do it better.

...it had never been said that Ben could not be very petty if the occasion called for it.

[OOC: Open for calls, texts, visits from the boy who's in space with him, care packages from home full of YA gay literature...]

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[momslilassassin]

Ben smiled. "The Kathol Rift is supposed to be one of the most beautiful spots in the galaxy, if you're just looking at it."

[endsthegame]

"We'll have to make sure we do," Ender said, of the totally not romantic at all stargazing idea. "If we're going to risk our lives, I think I prefer we do it while we have a view."

[momslilassassin]

"I'll be sure to register that with Dad," Ben told him, smiling. "Make sure we can stop to snap holos before imminent peril."

The sad thing was that he was serious.

[endsthegame]

No, the really sad thing was that Ender's first response wasn't to make fun of that, but rather to go, "At least that's something we can send home to Karla as a peace offering."

[momslilassassin]

"She was mad at me," Ben said with a rueful smile.

[endsthegame]

"Ah, let me guess," Ender said, "For not checking in often enough. You'd almost think she was trying to be crew."

[momslilassassin]

"Direct hit," Ben said. "Apparently when you call in, it doesn't count for me too."

[endsthegame]

Ender shook his head, and sighed. "It hasn't been as long as her as it has been for us," he said, "But she's got to accept that we're gone eventually."

[momslilassassin]

"Yeah," Ben agreed, dropping down to sit on Ender's bed again. "I miss her, of course, but what happens out here seems completely different than Fandom now."

[endsthegame]

"Different actions, different worlds, different lives..." Ender said, and quirked a wry little smile. "It's almost as if we really did just graduate high school, when you think about it."

Except for the bit where he and Ben were still firmly occupying the same worlds and the same life.

[momslilassassin]

"We didn't get to fight Vikings from space," Ben mused. "I think I'm okay with that."

[endsthegame]

"Me too," Ender said, and flashed him a quick smile. "I promised Karla dinner when I eventually swing by Fandom again. I anticipate it'll be surreal, at best."

[momslilassassin]

Ben snickered. "Probably. Plus all of the faces you don't recognize...Tell me you'll send me a recap."

[endsthegame]

"This is why I always return her phone calls," Ender said, "So there won't be any drama pent-up by that point."

[momslilassassin]

Ben gave him a tiny, knowing smile. "So she knows about Bean and Alai?"

[endsthegame]

Ender shot him a vaguely exasperated look. "I'm not going to make her life any richer by filling her in about that," he said. "At best, she'll feel guilty and try to console me over the phone, and I'd really rather avoid that awkwardness."

...shut up, Ben had been right here at the time, so it'd been unavoidable. And comforting. Maybe too comforting.

[momslilassassin]

And it shouldn't warm Ben up to realize that, yet again, he knew things about Ender no one else did, but it did.

He decided not to look to closely into why that made him happy, reaching over to poke Ender gently in the knee instead. "She might have her own grief to work through when she learns too," he offered.

[endsthegame]

"She didn't care much for Bean, and she was lukewarm about Alai at best," Ender said, with a light snort. "Besides, she had her own losses to contend with back then. She doesn't need to share mine."

[momslilassassin]

"Maybe," Ben said, not looking entirely convinced about that. "I certainly don't want to overwhelm her with too much stuff if she's already got worries back in Fandom."

[endsthegame]

"It's Karla," Ender said, sitting back on his own bed, next to Ben. "It'll be a cold day in hell when she doesn't find something to worry about-- or should I say, speed off towards, ready to meddle and pry and yank troubles onto her own shoulders. By force, if she has to. I'm not giving her any excuses."

[momslilassassin]

"She makes me look almost restrained," Ben admitted ruefully.

[endsthegame]

"I know what it's like to be the leader who decides who lives and who dies," Ender said, leaning his elbows on his knees. "It's a hard mindset to get out of. I'm not sure I'm even truly out of it. But I know where my limits are. I'm not sure Karla ever will."

[momslilassassin]

"You've learned how to take yourself out of the equation," and if it wasn't a choice Ben had made, it was one he could understand for Ender. "Karla keeps adding other people's problems onto her own instead of mitigating hers. It's a form of avoidance that's wearing her out."

[endsthegame]

"Precisely." Ender smiled a little bit. "And it's not doing all the other problems any favors, either. Actually, I think us being this far beyond her reach is probably good for her, all things considered."

[momslilassassin]

"I'll bet she'd disagree," Ben said, "but I get what you're saying. She can only yell after the fact. She can't help. We've taken some of the responsibility of being our friend off of her shoulders."