Secluded part of the beach [Monday, mid-morning]

[momslilassassin]

The weather was calling for thunderstorms later in the afternoon, so Ben came down to the beach to soak up some sun (through his heavy layer of SPF 8 billion) and some warmth, as well as give him a bit of time to think.

The fertility clinic had been informative and it had taken him a few days to process the idea that having children was a real, permanent thing he and Ender were thinking of and to stop freaking out, but he was still spending more time at the gym and more time running on the beach--more time alone--than he had in a while.

He was an only child--one born in the middle of a war at great physical cost to his mother--and his cousins had all been the same. Deep inside him was an idea that having children meant borrowing trouble. It was completely illogical, but it wasn't something he could easily shake, either.

Thus staring at the waves as they crashed into the shoreline, trying to find a bit of meditative peace.

[OOC: Open!]

Comments

[endsthegame]

Ender had some inkling of an idea what had been messing with Ben lately, though they hadn't quite talked about it yet. It was one of the few issues regarding all of this that he couldn't share; despite his family's many problems, they had been a stable five-person household for the entirety of the time he'd been with them, with not a hint of excitement until Graff crossed their threshold.

He'd decided to give Ben a little time to process -- but now two hours had passed, and Ender found himself walking to the beach to find him.

And there he was.

Ender stopped briefly, just to watch him.

[momslilassassin]

Ben knew Ender was there--Ben always knew when Ender was there--but he didn't pull his attention from the waves immediately. He wrapped his arms around his legs and finally glanced over, a tiny smile on his face. "Ho, kreetle."

[endsthegame]

"Ho, Ben," Ender said.

He walked down the beach until he reached Ben. He stuck his hands in his pockets. "Nice view," he said.

[momslilassassin]

"It's where I knew I could find you when we were both kids," Ben replied with a soft smile, "if you weren't on the roof on in our room."

[endsthegame]

"I liked it here," Ender said easily. "I still do." He cast Ben a small smile. "And the roof's a little hard to reach for us, nowadays."

[momslilassassin]

Ben reached out to tug Ender's hand. "We could try the hotel roof."

[endsthegame]

Ender sat down next to him, taking the hint. "It wouldn't be the same," he said.

[momslilassassin]

Ben rested his head against Ender's shoulder. "Probably not," he agreed. "No smoking students, for one.

[endsthegame]

"Just other adults," Ender said. He wrapped an arm around Ben's waist. "So what's brought you out here?"

[momslilassassin]

"Thinking," Ben said quietly. "This seems the best place for that."

[endsthegame]

"It's useful like that," Ender agreed.

He left a silence there. Ben could fill it, or he could keep it quiet. He didn't mind either.

[momslilassassin]

Ben slid his fingers between Ender's and squeezed lightly. "I love you. You know that, right?"

Because he couldn't stand the guilt if his freaking out on this made Ender doubt them.

[endsthegame]

"I know," Ender said.

His answering squeeze was tighter. He was a little worried-- but he didn't doubt them.

[momslilassassin]

"And I want this," he murmured, staring out at the water. "I'm just...worried something terrible's going to happen."

[endsthegame]

"That doesn't surprise me," Ender said quietly.

[momslilassassin]

"Because I'm the weirdest person ever and I don't know why you put up with me," Ben muttered.

[endsthegame]

"Because of everything you've been through," Ender corrected him easily. "You're at best the fifth weirdest person I know."

[momslilassassin]

"Peter will be insulted to hear that," Ben murmured, closing his eyes and focusing on Ender's emotions through the Force. It was soothing.

[endsthegame]

Ender knew the signs by now; he made sure to think of how fond he was of Ben, and the certainty that this would work out all right.

He gave Ben's hand another squeeze. "It'll be okay."

[momslilassassin]

"You've got me," Ben replied softly, kissing his cheek. "Jaina and Jacen were born in the middle of a war. Anakin was kidnapped by a clone of the Emperor before he was even born. I almost killed Mom to have...babies are scary."

[endsthegame]

"I'll remind you," Ender said quietly, "that avoiding that kind of thing is part of the reason why we went to my universe and not yours."

[momslilassassin]

"What if I'm bad luck?" Ben whispered.

[endsthegame]

"You've definitely not been bad luck to me," Ender noted.

[momslilassassin]

Ben relaxed a little to hear that. "You're sure?"

[endsthegame]

"I am sure," Ender said, kissing his cheek. "Much as I'm sure that even if we did wind up in trouble, we've got enough skills between the two of us to get out of it."