Secluded part of the beach [Monday, mid-morning]

[momslilassassin]

The weather was calling for thunderstorms later in the afternoon, so Ben came down to the beach to soak up some sun (through his heavy layer of SPF 8 billion) and some warmth, as well as give him a bit of time to think.

The fertility clinic had been informative and it had taken him a few days to process the idea that having children was a real, permanent thing he and Ender were thinking of and to stop freaking out, but he was still spending more time at the gym and more time running on the beach--more time alone--than he had in a while.

He was an only child--one born in the middle of a war at great physical cost to his mother--and his cousins had all been the same. Deep inside him was an idea that having children meant borrowing trouble. It was completely illogical, but it wasn't something he could easily shake, either.

Thus staring at the waves as they crashed into the shoreline, trying to find a bit of meditative peace.

[OOC: Open!]

Comments

[endsthegame]

Ender smiled, moving the hand he'd had on certain parts of Ben's anatomy to his hip. "Why?" he asked softly.

[momslilassassin]

"Because I'm kind of a mess," Ben whispered. "Pretty sure you've noticed."

[endsthegame]

Ender kissed him softly. "You are a mess," he said quietly. "And that's why you understand me. You don't put the same expectations on me that other people do." He kissed Ben again. "I've been around a lot of people who are far less of a mess than both of us are, love," he said. "I can't be myself around them because they expect me to be a normal person."

[momslilassassin]

Ben returned the kiss, then pressed his forehead against Ender's, grounding himself. "There's always going to be some stupid part of myself waiting for you to find something better and move on," he murmured.

[endsthegame]

Ender brushed some hair away from his face. "You are good enough, Ben Skywalker," he said quietly. "And you're worth... probably more than I can possibly give you."

[momslilassassin]

Ben's answering smile was quavery but sincere. "I know that's not true, kreetle."

[endsthegame]

"I wasn't asking for your opinion on the matter, which if memory serves, is always biased against you," Ender said. He slid his fingers down to Ben's jaw. "You are good," he said. "In so many ways."

[momslilassassin]

Ben bit down on his lower lip, but his eyes didn't stop watching Ender's as he searched for any sign he might not be completely sincere.

[endsthegame]

There wasn't any, because Ender meant it from the bottom of his heart. He knew Ben would likely need some level of reassurance about this for the rest of his life - but he hoped with time it would be tempered, at least.

He was happy to provide it as long as Ben needed it.

"I love you," he said again. "I'm grateful every day that you're willing to put up with me and my roaming around."

[momslilassassin]

Ben leaned in and kissed him, letting it linger. "Wherever you go, I'll go," he said simply. "You're home for me, not the place."

[endsthegame]

Ender smiled a little, wrapping his arms around Ben. "Hey," he murmured. "You've no reason to worry, then."

[momslilassassin]

Ben slid his hands up into Ender's hair and knocked their foreheads together again. "Sorry I got weird," he whispered, blushing.

[endsthegame]

"It's okay," Ender said. "It's always okay."

[momslilassassin]

"Least it wasn't a screaming nightmare?" Ben offered, snuggling closer.

[endsthegame]

"That would still be okay," Ender said, kissing his shoulder.

[momslilassassin]

Ben kissed him again. "You've got me?"

[endsthegame]

"I've got you," Ender murmured, "Anytime."

He kissed Ben a little more firmly this time.

[momslilassassin]

Ben sighed softly and pulled Ender to rest on top of him. "Good. Now is good."

[endsthegame]

Ender smiled down at him. "What do you want?" he said.

[momslilassassin]

Ben's cheeks went hot. "I want you as close as you can possibly get," he murmured.

[endsthegame]

Ender kissed his cheek. "I can do that," he whispered.

[momslilassassin]

Ben slid his fingers along Ender's spine. "Good."

[endsthegame]

Ender smiled and slid his hand back down to touch Ben.

[momslilassassin]

Ben let out a low moan and rocked into Ender's hand. "Please."

[endsthegame]

Ender curled his hand around him and began to move it, slow and steady. "Don't worry," he murmured. "I got you." He kissed Ben's mouth. "And don't make the joke."