From Chilly Boulder to Room 204 [evening]

[momslilassassin]

Ben reappeared where he'd been on the 7th: in Chilly Boulder, but without his creepy visitors.

There was a napkin on the nearby table that read "remember" and Ben was flooded with memories of this place: dates with Tahiri after invasions, milkshakes and conversations with Karla, the various staff members who knew him by name after so many years of coming into this shop...

...and Ender, which was when Ben glanced at his phone, realized that it was now Sunday, and bolted for the dorms. If the sidewalks and trees along the way back weren't exactly how he remembered them, he didn't care. He had much more important things on his mind.

"Ender?" he called, opening the door to their room.

Please exist...

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[momslilassassin]

Ben tried to hide behind his hands. "Shut up," he whined.

[endsthegame]

Ender got himself under control a moment later, and reached out to lightly pry his hands away from his face. "No, no," he said, "My fault, if anything. Sorry."

It was just a little ridiculous, that was all. Not Ben, not even him, but stressing out so much about this and having this happen right after the week they'd had, and with Ben right back here now.

It almost convinced him that Ben was definitely here more than any previous assurances had.

[momslilassassin]

Ben was still bright red but he let Ender pull his hands away without any real fuss.

"Don't apologize for being really good at that," he said.

[endsthegame]

"Then don't spaz out about inspiring me to get carried away," Ender said, moving closer again.

[momslilassassin]

Ben snuggled up against him. "I can spaz if I want to," he said, sounding slightly sleepy.

[endsthegame]

Ender dropped his head onto Ben's chest and smiled the tiniest bit. "Fine," he murmured, "If you insist. Spaz away."

[momslilassassin]

Ben kissed the top of Ender's head. "When did this get so comfortable?" he asked quietly.

Oral sex-related spazfits aside, of course.

[endsthegame]

Ender took a deep breath. "I don't know," he admitted, "But I'm almost afraid to question it."

[momslilassassin]

Ben began rubbing Ender's back. "Why?"

[endsthegame]

"Because I've never had this," Ender said, after a long moment.

[momslilassassin]

"Naked boys in your bed?"

Ben knew that's not what he meant.

[endsthegame]

Ender quirked a little amused smile. "A dearth of them up until now," he said. "Poor me."

[momslilassassin]

"And now I've spoiled you for lesser versions," Ben said, though he was still rubbing his back. "Which part haven't you had?"

[endsthegame]

Ender shot a quick glance towards his face, then eyed the blankets. "I'm used to... moments," he said, finally. "Or rather, memories. If you have a perfect memory of someone who cares for you, then it doesn't matter that the next moment, it'll be spoilt. Even if you know it always does."

[momslilassassin]

Ben had always known he'd been loved, so hearing how affection-starved Ender had been broke his heart.

"How does this reality match up to that perfect memory?" he asked quietly.

[endsthegame]

"Like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop," Ender admitted.

[momslilassassin]

Ben could understand that completely. "So the last few days were kind of confirmation of that feeling?" he murmured.

[endsthegame]

Ender slanted another look at him. "I'm not too good at being happy," he murmured.

[momslilassassin]

"You're not too used to being happy," Ben corrected gently, tightening his arms around him. "I think you'll be very good at it."

[endsthegame]

"I don't think so," Ender said, though he curled up further into Ben. "I have no idea who I'd be if I was."

[momslilassassin]

Ben leaned his head against Ender's. "I want to come with you when we're finished here," he blurted.

[endsthegame]

Ender blinked once. Then twice. Then: "Are you sure?"

[momslilassassin]

Ben was quiet for a moment. "It feels right," he said softly. "Yes, I'm sure, if you still want me there."

[endsthegame]

"I don't like to rescind my invitations," Ender said, shutting his eyes. "I'm certainly not doing so for this one."

[momslilassassin]

"You okay?" Ben murmured, looking down at him with concern.