momslilassassin | Naboo [Monday, Fandom time]

Entry tags:

Naboo [Monday, Fandom time]

Ben and Ender were still hosting houseguests, and since the speeder hadn't been destroyed the day before, it meant it was time for Cultural Opportunities In Town!

...or Twi'leks dancing around poles.

Po-tay-to, Po-tah-to.

There was plenty to see in Theed before then, of course, as it would be kind of tacky to watching dancing girls at lunch. Or so Ben assumed.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"...is it gonna be blue like that milk?" Wait. "Oh, they actually have that."

At home. Yes. It was called blue cheese, Topher.

Ben snorted. "They do," he agreed. "But it's not a good melting cheese."

"We're trying something different this time." A beat. "And drinks that won't make us fall down."

"Or throw people at the walls." Because it needed to be said.

"That really limits the fun," Ben said teasingly. "We've got a few minutes until the, um, cultural dancing begins. Pick a drink."

Hopefully they'd pick one that was compatible with human digestion.

That might be difficult, considering the selection at hand...

"How about a--" Tony peered at the menu. "--Durindfire (http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Durindfire_(beverage))?"

"Ooh, can I get a Renan Irongut?" Topher chimed in.

Totally not chosen based on the name. Shut up.

"Both of those will not kill you," he said cheerfully. "Good picks." He ordered a Sith scorcher for himself and a blue milk for Ender because he knew Ender when the bartender droid popped out of the table to ask what they wanted.

"Did anyone warn Topher about this place?" Tony, don't be cruel."

Topher looked wary. "Nooooo..."

OH GOD, WHAT HAD HE STEPPED INTO?

And then he caught a glimpse of the stage. Which had... a girl on it. One without very many clothes on. "What is that!?"

Not speciesism. Just fear.

"Culture," Ben said happily.

Ender sighed. "There's a bathroom if you want to flee later," he said, "Just pick the right one."

He sipped his milk.

Because Ender wasn't scared of girls. "...did I go in the right one when we were here last time?"

"Wait, is it different here?" Topher wanted to know. Then he paused. "Is that actually a dude?"

Yes. This was a drag bar.

"Probably," Ben told Tony helpfully, "and no. Twi'lek males are not nearly as pretty."

"No dudes," Ender said. "Just girls in inappropriate outfits squirming around. You can always play alien bingo with the audience instead."

He offered a Twi'lek looking their way a smile that was rather far above the shoulders for her standards.

"It's cultural," Tony insisted, focus lowered than the dancer's face. Sorry for being the token straight guy there. "Like ballet."

"It is no such thing!" Topher objected, flailing wildly. "She's -- no! That should stay on, thank you!"

Meanwhile he edged toward Ben for protection. Where was Warren's wingspan when you needed it???

Ben still appreciated bendy blue aliens with boobs! He also liked Ender!

"The outfits--" such as they were, "--will stay on," Ben assured him, taking a sip from his drink as it arrived. "You're just learning about Twi'leks! Their spines are very flexible."

Thank you, Ben.

"See it as an exercise in alien biology," Ender said, with a sigh, "And not a spectacle for the horn dogs surrounding us." He eyed Tony. "Who should really just call a spade a spade..."

"Some of us are still virgins here too," Tony pointed out. Possibly because he kept being distracted by science. "And are perfectly fine with looking at the unattainable in the meanwhile."

Somewhere, Stephanie was facepalming.

"Except for weird weekends," Topher made sure to point out.

That counted, damn it.

Ben kicked him under the table. "Thank you, Topher."

"Weird weekends don't count," Ender said decisively. "Or we'd have a whole new world of hell on our heads."

"And I'd be some really bland looking guy." Sorry, Darren Criss.

Re: Day 4 - evening

Re: Day 4 - evening

Re: Day 4 - evening

Re: Day 4 - evening

Re: Day 4 - evening

Re: Day 4 - evening

Re: Day 4 - evening

Re: Day 4 - evening

Re: Day 4 - evening

Re: Day 4 - evening

Re: Day 4 - evening

Re: Day 4 - evening

Re: Day 4 - evening

Re: Day 4 - evening

Re: Day 4 - evening

Re: Day 4 - evening

Re: Day 4 - evening

Re: Day 4 - evening

Re: Day 4 - evening

Re: Day 4 - evening

Re: Day 4 - evening

Re: Day 4 - evening

Re: Day 4 - evening

Re: Day 4 - evening

Re: Day 4 - evening