Room 204 [really, really early morning]

[momslilassassin]

With the amount of stress he was under, a part of Ben was surprised that the nightmares hadn't started sooner.

That didn't mean remembering the Embrace of Pain wasn't traumatizing:

Ben found himself shirtless and upside down, floating in a bubble of white agony as he tried to remember that he was human, that he was the son of two great Jedi, that he was trying to become a Jedi himself. The pain was determined to rob him of this, tearing at him in a thousand ways: acid that licked his nerves raw, needles with poison to inflame joints, pincers that yanked hair from individual follicles. It never let him go numb, or die, or fall into catatonic oblivion. The only way to stop the pain was the surrender to it, to let it melt him down and turn him into something else...

With a cry of terror, Ben bolted upright in bed, then clapped both hands over his mouth to stop any further noises from coming out and sat there trembling and gasping for breath.

[OOC: Mostly for the roommate, if he is so inclined, but establishy otherwise.]

Comments

[endsthegame]

Ender settled where he was.

"There's a fine line between arrogance and idiocy," he said, lightly, "Only the arrogant would insist that fine line is death."

[momslilassassin]

"Well, of course," Ben tried to tease. He still wasn't exactly in fine form. "The idiots not being known for their deep thoughts on most matters."

[endsthegame]

"Swift thinking, Skywalker," Ender said, and reached up - carefully, and in plain sight - to give his hair a ruffle.

[momslilassassin]

Ben leaned into the gesture (not that he'd ever admit it). "It's really early," he said. "I'm pretty proud that I can form mostly coherent sentences."

[endsthegame]

"You call that coherent?" Ender asked, lightly. "I think you were just babbling something about next door's cat being yellow, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt."

[momslilassassin]

Ben reached to retaliate by ruffling Ender's hair. "Isn't the cat yellow any more? Has it turned green again?"

Oh, Ben. You're not as awake as you think you are.

[endsthegame]

He shoved down on the instinct to pull away, instead tilting his head forward to brace himself for the onslaught. "Sorry," he said, "Next door's green cat."

[momslilassassin]

Ben gave Ender a grateful smile for letting him touch him. "I'll remember that for the next time I see it," he said.

Still steering clear of what had him waking up screaming, yes.

[endsthegame]

"I think you'd probably be better off counting sheep," Ender said, wryly. He was probably too awake and alert for the hour.

[momslilassassin]

Ben frowned, unfamiliar with that bit of Earth culture. "Are there sheep around?"

[endsthegame]

Ender just gave him an amused look. "Count banthas, then. I'm sure there's some animal you guys count to fall asleep."

[momslilassassin]

"Yes," Ben said, "but that would require closing my eyes again and...no."

[endsthegame]

"You don't have to close your eyes to count," he pointed out, brushing his hand over Ben's hair again. "Or talk, for that matter."

[momslilassassin]

"I was back on the Anakin Solo," Ben said softly, staring intently at his bedspread, "in the Embrace of Pain."

[endsthegame]

He just got a nod, and a slight dip in the mattress as Ender got more comfortable. He had a feeling he wasn't going anywhere for a while.

[momslilassassin]

Ben was quite for a long time before asking, "Have you ever had your hair yanked out by the root?"

[endsthegame]

"Can't say I have," Ender said, quietly, "But I'm taking it that's just the start."

[momslilassassin]

Ben shuddered. "Yeah. It wouldn't let me pass out, and as soon as my nerves adjusted to whatever it was doing to me, it would switch to something else."

[endsthegame]

"Keeping your senses occupied at all times," he surmised, repressing a sigh as he finally just slipped under the blankets. "How long did it last?"

[momslilassassin]

"At the time, it felt like years," Ben said. "But it was about a day and a half."

Straight. Jacen was such a exemplary human being.

[endsthegame]

He nodded. "Do you dream about it often?"

[momslilassassin]

He shook his head. But it was also why he didn't sleep much. "Other things pushed it out of my mind."

[endsthegame]

"Conscious mind, maybe," Ender said, cushioning his head on one hand.

[momslilassassin]

"It wasn't the last time I got tortured," Ben said, not realizing that most fifteen year olds didn't say that so casually. "Jacen was trying to turn me into someone else, break me down and reform me."

[endsthegame]

"I guess this is where I point out how he shouldn't have tried with a hard head like yours," Ender said; he knew most fifteen year olds didn't, but his own reality had a few strange earmarks in it as well. "Or something equally inane."