Aboard the Falcon [Wednesday afternoon, Fandom time]

[momslilassassin]

The quarters were a little more cramped on the Falcon than they were on the Shadow, and the addition of two more people and a nexu cub was helping Ben feel a little caged in.

It wasn't helping that Luke hadn't called yet to let him know where to rendezvous to continue on with their mission. His father wasn't dead--Ben would have felt that--so Ben was trying to wait patiently for his comlink to go off, rather than calling and demanding to know what was going on.

After a few hours of staring at the comm and mentally demanding it to ring, Luke finally called in. The Sith had left the planet having captured most of the Nightsisters of Dathomir, but Luke had Vestara as his prisoner aboard the Shadow and was using her as collateral in his new pact with the Sith.

Ben's yelped "WHAT?!" at that news had echoed through the ship.

Luke's second bit of news--that the Sith claimed their young people were going through the same Force psychosis that had plagued the Jedi--was harder for Ben to believe, and the final piece--that Luke would prefer Ben head to Coruscant to warn the Council personally about the Sith rather than meet up with his father to head back into the Maw--was greeted with absolute silence, then a nod of acquiescence.

Ben was being left behind again. He was fine with that. Really. He curled up on his bunk after he wished Luke luck on his mission and stared at the wall.

See? Totally fine.

[OOC: For the guy with him, phone calls or emails!]

Comments

[momslilassassin]

Ben for once didn't relax when Ender touched him. He was still wound too tightly.

"And now that request has been denied," he said. "I've been shuffled off to the side again."

[endsthegame]

In a way, this was a critical point. There was a lot Ender could say to nudge things in one direction or another.

He left his hand where it was, measuring just how tense Ben was. He was silent for a minute.

"To the side of what?"

[momslilassassin]

Ben was quiet for a long moment. Finally, he murmured, "His life."

[endsthegame]

"Your life's never going to be his life," Ender said, quietly. "I'm not sure it's ever been."

[momslilassassin]

"Pretty sure that's not how it's supposed to work," Ben said, sounding miserable.

[endsthegame]

"No, but it's what you've got," Ender replied, shifting his legs so he was facing Ben more, could catch his eyes. "You decide where it goes from there."

[momslilassassin]

Ben chewed on his lower lip. "I don't know what I want," he admitted softly.

[endsthegame]

"That's fine," Ender replied, with a tiny smile. "You've got plenty of time to work it out. Just don't let Luke blind you. Even if it hurts right now."

[momslilassassin]

"Well, you know," Ben said quietly, moving his hand to rest on Ender's. "No one can hurt you like family. I don't think he meant to--he's just thinking about other things, too."

[endsthegame]

"Just like Han and Leia didn't mean to leave Amelia stranded alone in the Falcon," Ender said. It wasn't a condemnation; he was just... observing. "Can't pick your parents, though."

He'd know.

[momslilassassin]

"No, I'm pretty sure they meant to do that," Ben corrected, shoving aside the stupid impulse to rest his head in Ender's lap. "I spent a lot of time on the Shadow while Mom and Dad were on missions."

[endsthegame]

"And this isn't the same thing?" Ender asked. He slid his hand off of Ben's side and put it down on the mattress.

[momslilassassin]

"I was a kid then," Ben said, missing Ender's hand a bit, but not going to mention it. "I'm a Jedi Knight now, and I'd like to think I proved myself at least a little bit over the last six months. I'm not going to cut my own hand off with a lightsaber or anything. Being sidelined is insulting."

[endsthegame]

"So do you want him to treat you like his son," Ender said, quietly, "or his Jedi Knight?" A pause. "Or something else?"

[momslilassassin]

"Do they have to be mutually exclusive?" Ben asked, finally sitting up.

[endsthegame]

"No," Ender said, shifting a little to give him more space, this time, "But it can be nearly impossible to balance."

He thought about Alai, and the rest of his Jeesh, and wondered how much worse it would be to be a parent with such complex ties to a son, or the other way around.

[momslilassassin]

"I just wish I felt like he was trying at all to balance it," Ben said finally.

[endsthegame]

He could see how much worse it was in Ben's face right now, he realised. He nodded.

"I don't know if he even realises he should," Ender said, quietly. "He was a Jedi Master for a long time before he became a father."

[momslilassassin]

Ben closed his eyes and nodded, feeling completely drained. "And I can't take responsibility for his actions."

[endsthegame]

"He's your father, and your Grand Master," Ender said. "Taking responsibility for that is his job, not yours."

[momslilassassin]

Ben rested his head on Ender's shoulder. "And the Grand Master gave me a mission. But I think Dad was sending us away from the Sith."

[endsthegame]

"You don't deal with them rationally," Ender said, quietly, "I can't blame him for that call."

[momslilassassin]

"I don't know many people who do deal with them rationally," Ben replied.

[endsthegame]

"No," Ender said, glancing sideways at the big mess of red hair on his shoulder. "But most of the people you know who deal with them are Jedi."

[momslilassassin]

"Maybe we should send Mandos," Ben said dryly. "Daala seems to think they're more effective than we are."