Ben Skywalker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
momslilassassin) wrote2011-11-11 03:24 pm
momslilassassin) wrote2011-11-11 03:24 pm
OOC: Texts from Last Night
Because I know I'll be looking for all of them to wonder just exactly what we'd been smoking, here's what Ben left for his friends, relatives, and people he mistakenly misdialed (with the rest of his idiot friends linked into the comments):
To Ender: HI. I THINK I JUST PULLED MY GROIN BUT THE DISMOUNT WAS ASTRAL OKAY.
To Jaina: WORMS TASTE LIKE BACON BY THE WAY. I ALWAYS WNDERED.
To Deadpool: Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
To Billy: i just sent this text using only my big toe
To Tony: careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
To Peter: "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey. I just tried calling my phone on my phone because I thought I lost my phone. Also Tony borrowed my pants. Long story."
To Steph: "Hey, do you think Topher would look better bald? Because I think so."
To Karla: I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
To Ender: HI. I THINK I JUST PULLED MY GROIN BUT THE DISMOUNT WAS ASTRAL OKAY.
To Jaina: WORMS TASTE LIKE BACON BY THE WAY. I ALWAYS WNDERED.
To Deadpool: Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
To Billy: i just sent this text using only my big toe
To Tony: careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
To Peter: "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey. I just tried calling my phone on my phone because I thought I lost my phone. Also Tony borrowed my pants. Long story."
To Steph: "Hey, do you think Topher would look better bald? Because I think so."
To Karla: I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
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To Tony: A copy of the first picture that he'd thought to take tonight that hadn't turned out blurry or upside-down!
To Hercules: "If I come to class with rainbow wings tomorrow, please shove me into a closet or something?"
To Rinoa: "Um. Just wanted to let you know? Your wings? They're really, really awesome."
To Ben: Psssssssssssst. CHeck your pants!
To Angelica: "... Angelica? Uh. Uh, hey. Do you know how to put out fires?"
To Tara: "You think in college there'll be guys like Fandom's guys to go drinking with?"
To Wesley: "Were the zebras the ones running the ballet school, or was that the crocodiles?"
To Karla: "Karla, I jus' learned... I jus' learned that the reason the birds are so angry?"
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7:55, to Stephanie: "HI. HI. OKAY. HI. I'M CALLING YOU. HI. OKAY. WE HAVE TO TALK. YOU AND ME." [It goes on. IT'S REALLY LONG, OKAY.]
8:00, to Quinn: YUor girl thingas smmelll like FIRE.
8:13, to Kenzi: "BARS ARE COOL. BARS ARE REALLY REALLY COOL. And you know what's extra cool about bars is -- mmmmmmmm. Ohhhh, man. Ohmygod. Mmmm, yeaaaaah. IT'S ALL HOT. Pull up your shirt more."
8:23, to Peter: "Peter? Peeeeeeeeeeeter? I gotta tell you something. And it's gonna be hard to hear. Are you sitting down? ARE YOU SITTING DOWN? Okay. SIT DOWN. I'm gonna build you a rocket ship. Or or or or or wait. Wait. TONY. CAN YOU HELP ME BUILD PETER A ROCKET SHIP? No, Peter. My BFF."
8:25, to Angelica: "I DON'T LIKE YOU. YOU SMELL FUNNY. LIKE ASHES."
9:01, to Ramona: "YOU YOU YOU YOU KNOW WHAT'S BEEEEEEETTER THAN THE DRUGS YOU GAVE ME? These little apple, um, apple, um, um, um, um, what's this called again?" A pause. "APPLETINIS. THEY'RE YUMMY. YOU SHOULD GET SOME. NO. YOU SHOULD GET ALL OF THEM. EXCEPT FOR MINE."
9:24, to Karla: "YOUR BOYFRIEND'S WINGS ARE SOFT AND FLUFFY. I'M GONNA SLEEP IN THEM. OKAY? OKAY. YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. HA."
10:15, to Dave: "Dave -- Dave -- Dave -- Dave -- I'm not sure I appreciate you enough, Dave. Daaaaaaave. Your name -- 's fun to say! Like a song! Ooh! Have you heard that one song? I'm gonna sing it! For you! You're gonna like it. It's a good song. Okay? Okay? Okay? Okay?"
10:22, to Jack: "I will get my hands on your AI. Oh, yes. I will. Also, do you know where I can buy some broccoli? I need some, like, now."
10:26, to Annie: "I gotta tell you something! I gotta! I gotta! Okay. The reason I don't like your underwear... IS BECAUSE I THINK YOU'RE A ROBOT. ROBOTS SHOULDN'T WEAR UNDERWEAR. THEY SHOULDN'T BE CONFINED TO CRUEL RESTRICTIONS LIKE THAT. THEY SHOULD BE FREEEEEEEE."
10:30, to Ben: "Ben! Psst! Ben! Can you help me hide Tony's pants?"
10:32, to Bobby: dude. dude. dude. hav we met befure? i cant tell cuz theres pants on my head
10:37, to Billy: WALK AWAY. WALK AWAY IM TALKING TO TONY NOW YOU CANT BE NEAR HIM OK!?!?!?!?/AS YOU CAN HAVE A TURN LAZTER
10:38, to Tony: "Tony. This is a message from yourself. You think Topher is, um, is, um, is super hot. Yeah. So. Don't forget. Um. That."
10:42, to Warren: hay hay hay hay dude. hay dude listen. look ive seen the looks ur given me an i want you 2 kno if i didnt have this thing w/ tony<3 there might be a chance. but i love him so we can never bee..
11:03, to Stephanie: "HI. Is there a -- " Giggling -- "Steph--Step-- Steven Brown there, please?"
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11:36, to Warren: they shuld make your wings into food
12:00, to Ender: BEN CUT MY HAIR IT LUCKS AWESHUM
12:54, to Peter: "Tony won't let me sit in his lap. He says it's 'cause it's too soft."
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To too (http://not-a-parakeet.livejournal.com/369.html?thread=375409#t375409) many (http://willbethenight.livejournal.com/345.html?thread=167257#t167257) damn (http://momslilassassin.livejournal.com/760.html?thread=3760376#t3760376) people (http://dollpocalypse.livejournal.com/841.html?thread=181833#t181833) to (http://perilless.livejournal.com/1111.html?thread=3927#t3927) even (http://endsthegame.livejournal.com/978.html?thread=2369746#t2369746) bother (http://selfhelphero.livejournal.com/833.html?thread=4929#t4929) with (http://glacial-witch.livejournal.com/711.html?thread=4178119#t4178119) naming (http://screwyoumarvel.livejournal.com/260.html?thread=385796#t385796): 'I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous'
To Ben (http://momslilassassin.livejournal.com/760.html?thread=3759864#t3759864): 'BEN'
To Jaina (http://solo-sword.livejournal.com/359.html?thread=5022311#t5022311): A helpful picture text!
To Sookie (http://justwantsquiet.livejournal.com/745.html?thread=1653737#t1653737): 'I think your boyufriend is jealous of Ender Wiggin. I might be too'
To Stephanie (http://batwaffles.livejournal.com/6560.html?thread=181152#t181152): 'I don't have a shirt.'
To Ender (http://endsthegame.livejournal.com/978.html?thread=2368466#t2368466): 'Bobby just started a fire. Why can't I have a nice bar crawl?'
To Karla (http://glacial-witch.livejournal.com/711.html?thread=4176583#t4176583): 'YOur boyfriend is in danger of his maaidenhood being taken'
To Steve (http://screwyoumarvel.livejournal.com/260.html?thread=385028#t385028): 'Did you know that you can just rent an elephant??'
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To Tara: "Tara! Tara Tara I need to email some pictures to you for safe keeping..."
To Topher: STOP BREATHING ON TONY SO MUCH OMG. LET HIM HAVE OTHER AIR.
To Karla: i'M sorry i made Warren shirtless but i'm also not and i think you understand it was an accident tho!
To Ramona: Sending more pictures for safe measure!
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To Sookie: "I'm drunk and you're awesome. Let's stay this way forever."
To Sookie: I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Mass text sent to far too many people: Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor appletinis.
To Kate: tequila makes me forget i have legs
To Tara: "I think it would be like really awesome if scientists could genetically engineer manatees to be the size of tiny goldfish so I could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE."
To Angelica: I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
To Angelica: Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
To Raven: "Juuuust so you know," a pause, and then a gulp followed by a glass clinking on a table. "I am not drunk enough to eat silly string."
To Steve: As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
To Stephanie: I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET
To Ender: "I did not know Ben could bend that way. Now I do know. I am not sure what I am supposed to do with this knowledge."
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