Ender's Swingin' Bachelor Pad, Naboo [Wednesday, Fandom time]

[momslilassassin]

The nice thing about how time worked on Naboo was that even a few days away from Fandom meant that Ender and Ben had gotten almost a week to themselves to unwind.

Now the fridge was restocked, the rooms were prepared and the droid Ben had made was bustling industriously around getting rid of dust bunnies.

Ben and Ender were ready for their Fandom (and other universes!) invasion.

Comments

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[glacial_queen]

"I am?" Karla looked equal parts relieved and dubious. "I'm glad that you've learned to translate Karla-babble, then."

His lessons in dealing with her would probably stand him in good stead for his future as governor, if nothing else.

"Do you mind telling me some about it?" she asked, resting her chin on the palm of her hand. "I remember being angry at you and sad for Ben--" and annoyed at Raven and Jono both "--but I don't remember why."

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[endsthegame]

Ender sighed. "I'd followed my original plan and left without doing anything, and then assumed communication would be impossible after my departure," he said. "I'd expected it to work. Instead I stranded Ben in a twilight zone between universes that didn't fit him."

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[glacial_queen]

"He was in mine," Karla said softly, remembering her conversation with Ben after that weekend. "Serving in my Court. And...I think I knew that it wasn't what he wanted. It was just the least bad of all of his options."

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[endsthegame]

"Sometimes he went home," Ender said. "Sometimes he'd go to Tony's universe. He was angry with me, but... we sorted it out."

Ahem.

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[glacial_queen]

Karla's expression suggested she could guess how they'd sorted it, but she wasn't going to say anything. Because she was a good friend.

"Can I ask you something fairly intrusive and personal?" she asked instead. "About why you finally agreed to let Ben come with you?"

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[endsthegame]

Ender rubbed the back of his neck. "Sure."

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[glacial_queen]

It wasn't about sex, Ender! Promise!

"Did you invite him along just to save him?" Karla asked quietly. "I mean, it's not that I doubt you love him, far from that. But I know love isn't necessarily enough of a reason for you to ask him to come with you. But if you thought that you could protect him from Luke or a lifetime of pining..."

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[endsthegame]

Ender shook his head. "It's not about protection, Karla," he said. "I want him to thrive-- I want him to know what it's like to make his own decisions and take control of his own life, to find a life that's fulfilling for him. I gave him the choice because he needed a choice, because he hasn't had one in too long."

He smiled briefly. "I hope that makes sense."

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[glacial_queen]

Karla nodded. "It does, and it sort of answers my question, but..." She bit her lip again, glancing away to bring order to her thoughts. "If you hadn't seen what he would have been like, would you still have invited him? Assuming that you two had figured things out before this summer anyway. Even if you'd accepted that he loves you and you love him, would you still have asked him if you hadn't seen that possible future?"

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[endsthegame]

"Yes," Ender said simply. "I don't have to see the future to know the Jedi life as Luke dictates it isn't made for him. I certainly don't need it to know he's seen too much war and he deserves a chance at something better. I asked him before I made any kind of move - really even conceptualized doing it - for a reason."

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[glacial_queen]

"I'm glad," Karla said with a nod, and then paused. "You think he'll be useful, too, right? I mean, you aren't just bringing him for his benefit. Not that I think you'd bring him along just to have a live-in lover, obviously you think he'll be useful, I just want..." She made another frustrated face, usually she was much better at speaking than this. "...I guess I just want to know that you're not bringing him along just for his benefit. That you're doing it for both of you."

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[endsthegame]

"I'm bringing him along because he feels it's the best option for him right now, and I agree," Ender said. "It's not a decision that's about my wants and needs, precisely. But it's a happy side-effect that his and mine seem to overlap in this case."

He shrugged gently. "For as far as it'll take us," he added. "Nothing is writ in stone."

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[glacial_queen]

"You invited him along and he chose to come because it's the best option for him, compared to all of his other possibilities," Karla murmured. "The fact that you love each other isn't exactly irrelevant, but not the deciding factor either. Is that true?"

In fact, the more she thought about it-- "If you thought he was only going because he loved you, you wouldn't have invited him, would you."

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[endsthegame]

"No, I wouldn't," Ender said simply. "It wouldn't have been fair to him. Love is a great good, don't get me wrong. But if he wasn't happy where he was going - if he resented having to give something up for love... he would have been more miserable than if he'd stayed behind."

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[glacial_queen]

"And that's why you'd hesitated for so long," Karla said. "I mean, obviously, there were other factors--" hi, Tahiri "--but part of it was simply because you didn't want him to have to choose between losing love and leaving everything else behind if he didn't have to."

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[endsthegame]

"We're all in a difficult position at Fandom," Ender said. "Taking someone you love with you can entail forcing them to live somewhere where nobody shares their religion or even the very basics of their culture. For someone like Warren, there's always the option to leave, if it turns out that being the sole landen in a Blood culture is too much for him. For Ben... well, signing on means being stuck in my world for at least two years. It could mean losing his father, his family, his friends. For a long time, I didn't think it would be worth it to put him through all that. I'm only one person, and I'm not exactly going to be a beacon of stability."

He shrugged.

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[glacial_queen]

"But Ben chose you over his father before the idea of romance was on the table," Karla said softly. "Because he saw how unhealthy his life would be otherwise. Having you romantically just became the icing on the cake."

She nodded and then murmured aloud, "I wonder if Warren would choose Kaeleer if he didn't love me. I know it's not the same choice as it was for Ben, but I do wonder that. What his life would look like if I weren't in it."

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[endsthegame]

"I don't know," Ender said quietly. "He's making quite a leap. For both your sakes, I hope he'll take to that life. I hope he'll find happiness in it."

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[glacial_queen]

"If he were happy back home, things might be different," Karla admitted softly. "But he's not. And he's not the type to go to a world like his and strap on various tights like the many other versions of him there are, either."

Though he would probably finish up college, rather than only going for a year. Maybe other things, too. Karla didn't know. Hell's fire, Karla wasn't sure if Warren knew, either.

"At the same time, I don't want him coming with me because it's his only option, either. Too much pride for that, I guess."

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[endsthegame]

"I don't think Warren has really had the time to explore a great deal of options," Ender said. He reached for Karla's hand in an attempt to take the sting out of the words - blame that on years of being around Ben. "That doesn't mean this won't be the right one for him. You won't quite know if the puzzle pieces fit unless you try, after all."

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[glacial_queen]

"I've worried about that," Karla said, squeezing his hand in appreciation. The gesture meant a lot to her, mostly because she knew it was not Ender's first instinct, rather than because she particularly needed it. "I'm the first female he's ever been with--" someone hadn't told her about Denise yet, la "--the first one who ever showed real romantic interest. I don't know how to talk about that without making it sound like I doubt what he feels for me, but...I'm not that much of a starry-eyed romantic. I mean, half the reason I fell so hard for Ben my freshman year was because he was one of the first males I wasn't related to that cared about me. Not because I was a Queen or because males defend and protect, but because he cared about me. That's a heady concept."

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[endsthegame]

"Trust me, I know," Ender said, shooting her a tiny smile. God knew he'd spent too much of his life being deified by the people who were supposed to be his peers. Ben had kind of wormed his way past that, too. "From what I know of Warren, he is... something of a starry-eyed romantic. Much like how Ben is one more so than I am."

He took a breath. "Of course, Ben has had to deal with reality for too long to fall into those traps so easily these days. But there's a reason why I gave him the option, then made him wait before I'd let him answer me."

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[glacial_queen]

For all of her flaws, that was one trap Karla had never fallen into. She saw Ender as a mentor, yes, and someone she could go to for questions, but she'd never deified him.

"He is. And so while I never doubt that he loves me, sometimes I wonder if he would love me if I weren't the first." She gave Ender a half smile and a shrug. "On the other hand, I helped shape him, too. I was one of the people who drew him out of his shell. It's all terribly complicated."

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[endsthegame]

"It is," Ender said. He gave her hand a squeeze himself, then dropped it. "The best you can do is try to help him find his place in the world... make sure you can let him go if he decides he can't find one... and hope you won't have to."

Re: Day One: Daytime [Lake Country]

[glacial_queen]

"Do you remember..." Karla began, and then looked at him. "No, you wouldn't have, would you. You never thought that being an adult meant that you could do as you pleased."

Karla reached for her water and sipped it. "I always knew that I'd have responsibilities as Queen and that I wouldn't be free to do whatever I wished, but there was a time that I thought that being an adult would mean a lot more in the way of personal freedoms."

Which, technically, it did. It also meant a lot more in the way of consequences.