Ben & Ender's house on Shakespeare [some evening]

[momslilassassin]

Ben was curled up on the sofa with Ender's rather dry book on anatomy after Ben's research into the subject had brought up suggestions like "Bend Over," "Eating Out," and other titles that had sent Ben into an unhelpful cycle of flail. (Jane had a wicked sense of humor, not that Ben knew that.)

He had a dish of ice cream while he waited for dinner to warm up--his only outward sign of nerves--and kept glancing at the door waiting for Ender to come home.

Just another night, right? If he kept repeating that to himself, maybe he'd believe it.

[OOC: This is going to get waaaaaaay NWS, methinks. For the boy.]

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[endsthegame]

Ender followed him a moment later, pressing up against his back. "New pants is fine," he said. "Grab me a pair."

[momslilassassin]

Ben reached back and pulled Ender's arms around him, sending a pulse of affection through the Force, and then found Ender's pants and handed them to him.

"Love you."

[endsthegame]

"Love you too," Ender said, kissing his cheek. "For indulging my late night whims, if nothing else."

He tugged his pants on as quickly as he could.

[momslilassassin]

Ben tossed on a shirt as well, then slid into his shoes.

"Whenever you're ready, love," he said.

[endsthegame]

"Ready," Ender said, tying up his shoes. "Come on."

He just... had this terrible urge to get moving. Feel cold wind on his face.

[momslilassassin]

Ben followed Ender outside, heading toward the skimmer.

[endsthegame]

Ender slipped into the passenger's seat. He could drive, sure, but Ben was the better chauffeur between the two of them - it was practically habit by now. "Let's head east," he said quietly. "To the orchard."

[momslilassassin]

Ben reached his hand out to squeeze Ender's knee before taking the skimmer in the direction Ender had suggested.

"This better?" he asked after a few minutes in silence.

[endsthegame]

"Yeah," Ender said, glancing in Ben's direction with a tiny smile on his face. He didn't apologize; he knew how useless that was. "Thanks."

[momslilassassin]

"Any time," Ben said, glancing up at the stars. "But you know that."

[endsthegame]

"I know." Ender leaned his arm on the side door of the skimmer and relaxed a little again, following Ben's example as he stared up at the sky.

Would there be a place out there where he could finally lay his own demons to rest?

[momslilassassin]

They arrived at the orchard and Ben stopped the skimmer, glancing again at Ender.

He didn't want Ender to know how worried he was, but knew that was kind of a futile prospect.

[endsthegame]

Ender reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze.

Then he opened up the door of the skimmer and slid out.

[momslilassassin]

Ben followed, reaching back for Ender's hand as soon as he got to Ender's side again.

"Nice night," he commented quietly, gazing back up at the stars.

[endsthegame]

Ender gave Ben's hand a squeeze. "It has been," he agreed, walking slowly between the trees without letting go of Ben's hand. "We might even be able to spot the Sol system from here, if we pay close attention."

[momslilassassin]

Ben looked up, squinting for a moment, then pointed to an area of sky. "There?"

[endsthegame]

"Thereabouts," Ender agreed. "Imagine coming all this way from there... to here... without knowing what you were going to find. Without knowing who was going to lead you against the unfathomable when you got here..."

[momslilassassin]

"They were extremely brave," Ben said quietly, knowing that Ender wasn't looking for a "they were waiting for you" kind of meaningless asspat.

[endsthegame]

Ender named names - names he knew all too well.

"They died here," he said. "Or on the way. They left their families and their safe homes behind and they died out here. Alone."

[momslilassassin]

Ben squeezed his fingers. "But not for nothing."

[endsthegame]

"I don't know if the broken families they left behind all feel the same. No one's ever told me."

[momslilassassin]

"Every family's different," Ben said. "Some would understand, and some wouldn't. Some of them might not have even had families behind."

[endsthegame]

"I've been feeling really good these past few months," Ender said quietly. "Safe. Content. Sometimes I have to remind myself that thanks to me, there are people who can't say the same. Those men who died up there... the formics that died down here..."

[momslilassassin]

Ben wrapped his arms around Ender and held on tightly, knowing that he wouldn't be able to say anything right now that Ender wanted to hear.

[endsthegame]

Ender stared up at the stars, and the trees and the ancient, dead machinery up ahead; for once in quite a while, he let it all roll over him, the guilt and the questions and the sorrow for people long dead.

It didn't disappear. But after a few intense moments of it, it rolled back.

He turned around and hugged Ben back just as tightly.