momslilassassin: ([neg] death glare)
What had been a project to keep his hands busy and get his comlink to work again (yes, Ender had told him it wouldn't contact anyone. Ben was a Skywalker and was therefore convinced that if he just fiddled with something and/or smacked it hard enough (Han's influence) he could do it anyway) had become, as the anniversary of his mother's death loomed closer, an obsession to talk to someone at home again.

Or Jaina. Or Granddad. Ben wasn't going to be picky.

And that's how he'd gotten here: sitting in the middle of their room, surrounded by screws and bits of electronics, and cursing a blue streak in Twi'lek.

He couldn't fix it.

"Kuso!" he snapped, throwing the comlink to shatter against the wall.

[OOC: For the boy!]
momslilassassin: ([neu] meditating)
A few minutes—or a lifetime—of meditation with Rhondi and Ben felt himself slipping free of his body. He had a thousand questions about what was happening to him, about how long they had been gone and what would happen to his body. But when Rhondi appeared next to him, looking more refreshed and beautiful than she ever had, he had only one thing to ask her: “How do we find my father?”

She extended her hand. “Take my hand and walk with me into the light.”

At any other time, Ben would have had a comment about how walking into the light sounded a bit ominous, but right now Ben did as she instructed, and together they walked into the crackling purple radiance beyond the viewport. He was instantly filled with an eternal, boundless bliss beyond anything he’d ever experienced. He became one with the Force, melted into it and was filled with a calm joy as vast as the galaxy itself. How long he and Rhondi hung there together, Ben would never know. It was less than an eyeblink, long as eternity.

And suddenly Ben was looking out on a narrow black mountain lake with a surface as still as glass. From one shore rose a sheer granite face, sloping toward a domed summit lit with the light of a blue sun. Along the other shore lay a boulder-strewn meadow. Directly ahead was his father standing next to Ryontarr and the Givin, looking toward a half-hidden female form floating in the silver mists that concealed the far end of the lake.

Ben released Rhondi’s hand, no longer consumed by the same sense of urgency that had been troubling him on the station. True, his father had grown perilously weak over the last few weeks, and true his own life was also in peril since the Mind Walkers were still trying to kill them. But Ben had left such mundane worries behind with his body. He’d swum in the incomprehensible infinity of the universe, and now he understood: life and death were the same because moments did not vanish, could not be consumed like air or water or nutripaste. They existed once and forever, spread across the entire continuity of the universe. Just as atoms gathered together to make matter, moments gathered in packets of minutes and hours, which mortals perceived as time passing.

But those packets were no more the essence of time than sunlight was the essence of a star, heat the essence of fire. They were simply the perceptions through which the mind of finite beings experienced the infinite. When he had time to think about it, he wondered how this would change his perceptions of his vision of Jacen, or the view of the future he’d experienced with Ender.

Now—for the given value of now—he had to talk to his father. “That was some trip,” he said with a smile.

Where Ben and Luke go on an extremely trippy...something )

[OOC: Taken and modified from Abyss by Troy Denning. Contains gratuitous icons of Christian Bale and happens at the same time as this. NFB, NFI, OOC is love.]
momslilassassin: ([neg] lost little boy)
Ben had finished with his classes and fled back to his room: today was just not a day he was up to spending around a lot of people.

He checked his comlink just in time to see a quick message from his father show up--Miss you. Love you. Check in later. Dad.--and promised himself that he'd reply later. For now, though, he was going to curl up on his bed with a complicated piece of machinery to tinker with and a pint of ice cream to eat, and try (unsuccessfully--having perfect recall was no gift) to forget every single moment of what it was like to find his mom in the Hapes Cluster.

Ben hated anniversaries.
momslilassassin: ([neg] sad panda)
Ben had been going through his normal morning routine when his comlink went off. He frowned when he saw who the message was from--his father wasn't generally one for random communications--and the his breath was sucked from his lungs like he'd been sucker punched.

Thinking of you today. Miss you. --Dad.

His eyes flew to the date and he felt even worse. It was the anniversary of Mom's death and it had completely snuck up on him. Shaking off memories of flying over Kavan--of the sudden, gaping loss in the Force--with difficulty, Ben shrugged into his Jedi robe and headed to class.

It was going to be a very long day.
momslilassassin: (Ben: lost little boy)
Weeks passed. The Jedi base was packed up, most of the equipment and ships airlifted to their new location, and Luke finally returned from Fondor, walking through the vacant halls with a stony expression. Ben caught rumors of a dogfight with Jacen (and really. Like Jacen had a shot against his dad), Niathal and Jacen turning warships against each other, and Pellaeon being murdered for refusing to keep his ships on Jacen’s losing side. Ben had some deeply uncomfortable suspicions about who might’ve been responsible for that.

And then, because things couldn’t get much darker, really, he got a secure comm from Shevu. )

[OOC: I just keep beating the kid up, don't I? Dialogue tweaked from Revelation by Karen Traviss. NFB, NFI, etc., etc.]
momslilassassin: (Ben: brooding is a family thing)
I can do this, Ben chanted to himself as the windswept surface of Kavan expanded quickly under the vessel. I can face this.

“You okay, Ben?” Lon Shevu, Captain in the Galactic Alliance Guard and long-time friend asked, glanced over worriedly.

“Fine,” Ben assured him. He hadn’t called in the galaxy’s biggest favor to get Shevu to come with him out to Hapan space without authorization under the noses of both Tenel Ka (who was in a Mood. Kidnapping her daughter would do that.) and Jacen—only to get cold feet now.

“Think cop,” Shevu said. “Just keep thinking cop.”

Kavan was a lot less desolate than Ben remembered. )

[OOC: Dialogue taken and tweaked from Karen Traviss' Relevation. NFI, NFB, OOC is loved and fed cookies.]
momslilassassin: (Ben: studying)
Ben didn't have classes on Tuesday, so he'd spent the entire day going through the forensic evidence of his mother's crime scene on his datapad, so focused on the task in front of him that he forgot his normal Tuesday routine.

The photos...were grim.

Which was why the door was very firmly shut.

[OOC: But if you want to bug him...]
momslilassassin: (Ben: thinky)
Ben sat in the tiny room that had been set aside for him on Endor, packing up the few belonging he’d left there. The next time he returned to this galaxy, the Jedi would be somewhere else: too many people knew about this place.

The days that had passed since Centerpoint he’d spent productively: asking questions, trying to get a sense of who was on what side these days. Finding out how his father was really doing. And figuring out where Tahiri was. That answer had not made him happy at all, for a number of reasons he wasn’t about to share with anyone in this galaxy.

Or, he reflected as he folded up a robe, any other galaxy.

Most of his questions had been concerned with exactly what had happened with Alema, and why his father thought she’d killed Mara. And as many times as he went over the pieces in his head, they still didn’t fit together for him into a coherent whole.

Ben's smarter than he thinks. )

[OOC: Dialogue taken and tweaked from Karen Traviss's Revelation. NFB, NFI, OOC is love.]
momslilassassin: (Ben: I have a hood and am looking down)
The enormous room was filled with dignitaries: Galactic Senators, military leaders, beings from around the galaxy who had fought alongside Mara Jade Skywalker over the decades of her life.

Jedi Knights knelt in rows in front of the funeral pyre, meditating on the nature of the Force. Ben stood next to his father, Ender and Dean close by, as Jedi Masters swirled around them having murmured conversations.

The ceremony was running late: Aunt Leia and Uncle Han hadn't arrived yet.

But neither had Jacen.

Ben wasn't sure if he should be relieved by that part or not.

He stared straight ahead, trying not to be twitchy about all the eyes staring at him.
momslilassassin: (Ben: looking down)
The ship's presence grew stronger the closer Ben flew to the Hapes Cluster, even though Ben couldn't figure out what Lumiya could possibly want in that part of space. He couldn't feel Jacen--hardly unusual--but he could feel a trace of his mother.

Don't tell me we're both following Lumiya... )

[OOC: NFI or B due to distance. Dialogue snurched with love from Karen Traviss' Sacrifice. And we have gotten to the "sacrifice" part of the book now. Ye be warned for character death and general woe. Comments are love.
momslilassassin: (Ben: eye closeup)
Ben had barely taken two steps away from the shuttle ramp before someone's hand was on his shoulder.

He almost shrieked--he'd shut out everything else around him in an effort to discover if Jacen was on the planet or not--and realized he was staring into his mother's face, and something was terribly wrong.

"Mom! Who hit you?"

Was he too late already?

Wherein Ben gives Obi-Wan a run for title of exposition fairy )
momslilassassin: (Ben: brooding is a family thing)
After a long talk with his grandfather, Ben finally made his way back to his room and picked up his comm unit.

He took a deep breath and then called his mother.

Her face was strangely blurry through the receiver. "Ben?" she said, sounding a little incredulous. "Where are you?"

Ben fought back a sudden wave of emotion. He didn't realize how much he'd missed her until that moment. "I'm at school, Mom," he said, sounding a little wavery. "Can you send a shuttle for me? I have to talk to you."

Mara didn't waste time on asking questions like why something couldn't be talked over now. "It'll be there in the morning," she said immediately. "I'll see you soon."

Ben nodded and disconnected. This was either the start to making everything better, or the worst mistake of his life. The Force wasn't giving him any hints as to which way it would fall.
momslilassassin: (Ben: brooding is a family thing)
Ben knew from the moment he stopped hiding in the Force that his mom was going to have some words for him, so he took a deep breath, perched himself on the white marble pedestal of an abstract statue of Prosperity that formed a support for the civilian arrivals hall, and called Mara.

Are there teal deer in a galaxy far, far away? )


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Ben Skywalker

September 2017

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